As the weeks fly by and the wedding draws ever closer, something odd has happened. At nine months out, I was a super planner and a nervous wreck – it seemed like there just wasn’t enough time in the day to get the wedding planned. Witness, to your left: my carefully crafted wedding inspiration board.
Now, as the date looms just 5 weeks out, a sudden calm has washed over me. Wedding, schmedding – who needs to plan? It’s as if a lull has overcome my perfectionist thinking and I finally relented the need to control every last little detail. This is a good thing…right?
But instead of relishing the quiet inside my head, I’ve noticed that it’s a little too quiet in there – crickets might as well be chirping in the background. This unnerves me because it’s not as if I have everything done; au contraire, the long list of DIY projects is still awaiting my attention. The invites went out two weeks late, I still haven’t picked what kind of veil I want (let alone ordered it), I never found the perfect shoe, the bridesmaids dresses aren’t in yet and the favors have yet to be ordered.
I want to get stressed, mad, determined – I want to get the sudden urge to hurl myself back into planning mode and take on all those DIY tasks. Instead, I find the thoughts of unfinished items bobbing up gently in my conscience, and my conscience allowing them to softly sink back down into oblivion. It’s so unlike me; the antithesis to my obsessive-compulsive, detail-worshiping self.
My only hope is that, while there’s still enough time left, my blase brain revs up for one final push. Because the wedding will march on whether I finish those little details or not. Guests will arrive and gather, and I will be married to the man I love and was meant for. But I can’t help thinking that it wouldn’t hurt to have 35 handmade tissue paper pom-poms twirling gently in the breeze, or a wish table with two oversized dandelions backbreakingly constructed from Styrofoam and bleached baby’s breath… or beautifully designed programs… or oversized, calligraphied signs with complimenting black and white striped ribbon…
I have to wonder: Is is just me, or does every bride-to-be have a stressfully unstressful moment?