Category Archives: Fug Files

Return of the Fug File

What were they thinking???

What were they thinking???

Alright, so I haven’t done the Fug Files in a loooong time in an attempt to focus on the positive. But honestly, I came across this silver ruffled disaster in the Urban Outfitter SALE section of their website and knew what had to be done: a Fug File post.

Let’s begin by reviewing the atrocities committed with this bad boy. Polyester? Check. Cheap looking polyester? Double check. Ill fitting? Heck yes. Completely, hideously unflattering, even on a m-o-d-el? Sadly, yes and yes.

I mean, what was the Urban Outfitters buyer smoking when they decided to add this to their fall line? And when the stylist was creating looks for the online store and catalogue, did they ever have an “oh sh**!” moment when they realized just how wrong this dress looks on a real live person? I mean, no kidding it’s on sale – someone would have to pay me to wear this fugly item, and they’d have to pay me a lot more than the $69.00 they are asking for it. Puh-lease, Urban Outfitters (and Charlotte Ronson – the ill-fated designer of this unspeakable horror), stop the bleeding before somebody dies. When you see something this bad, just send it back. Back to the drawing board, back to the manufacturer, back to the wholesaler. Just don’t expect your customers to buy this gar-bahge, especially for the $292 original retail price. Capice? Capice. Thanks for listening.

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Fug Files: Monokini Disaster

While my previous post discussed the virtues of the sexy-but-covered-up one piece, here’s the epitome of what a one-piece SHOULDN’T be. I mean…. is it for a stripper? The silver lame-look (forgive me, I can’t figure out how to type the accent over the e in lame) spandex screams “video ho”, and I’m pretty sure the model in the picture is angled to hide a creepy case of camel-toe.

Even if I were to ignore the stripper-esque fabric and cut, I can’t help but hate it for the wacked-out tan line you’re going to get from this doozy. Who wants a mini-ring and lines across her chest and a long stripe up her stomach? Yecchh! This disaster has none of the cuteness of a bikini, and none of the virtues of a decent one-piece. My advice? Run for the hills. Already own it? Burn it, then run for the hills – I hear FUG is highly flammable. *

*If for some reason you actually like this monokini distaster, you can get it at Macys for $144. But I suggest burning your money before buying this – it’ll do you more good than wearing it. 😉

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